Celebrating Fatherhood 10 Ways To Be A Better Father
Written by William Jackson   
Sunday, 12 June 2016 16:09



There are things that every father needs to know and should modify their behaviors when helping to raise their children whether in the home or not. The actions of fathers have serious effects on their children. The relationships of fathers and their children have lifelong effects on both.

A father’s words and actions carry tremendous weight throughout the life a child and shape the relationship behaviors of children into adulthood. Girls need fathers to show them what expectations to have on how they should be treated and respected. What they morally and ethically should expect from boys and men as they mature and why girls and women should have their own and not have to depend on anyone to provide for them.

A father and his daughter have a dynamic relationship that changes as both mature and grow into their roles. Fathers need to understand that daughters need their fathers for support, guidance, love, creating an atmosphere of trust and building self-esteem and self-development.

The relationships of parents and children are dynamically bonded by genetics and DNA.

10 ways to be a better father I hope are helpful to the development of young dads that need help and guidance to be the best dad they can be for their children and families.

1. Respect your children’s mother 

The most important issue in a relationship is communication and speaking to each other in a respectful and loving manner. Children listen and observe the relationships of their parents and use this as a foundation to create their own models. I have observed the discussions of elementary students from kindergarten to fifth grade on what kind of parents they are going to be based on watching, listening and hearing their parents. Some of it is healthy and some give pause to worry. Parents have a strong effect on future relationships.

2. Spend time with your children

As the child of divorced parents, even in my adult years I’m still affected by the lack of involvement from my father. I still struggle with communication, I still struggle with trust and I still struggle with other areas that I know are the results of not having my father involved. When I became divorced, I did not want to repeat the pattern, so I stay involved and active as much as possible. When my children went through elementary to high school, I was active and involved so they understood that even though their mother and I divorced, I did not divorce them.

3. Earn the right to be heard 

Too many inactive fathers think that just because they are the father, they have the same rights of an active and engaged father. This is not true, if a father chooses to stay out of their children’s life they lose the respect of their kids. They lose the bond that is created from childhood to adulthood. Fathers need to take the time to listen to their children. Not always feeling they have to give advice, but to listen and receive advice from their children. Fathers begin to “talk” to your children when they are young so the communication bond can transition as the children grow and mature.

4. Discipline with love

Children need discipline and even look forward to it. It helps them learn the lessons of life and builds confidence and maturity. Kids need to be disciplined from love not punished for nonsense. Each of us has our emotional limitations and behavioral expectations, but must understand that children will make mistakes and from them will grow. Fathers are key to this because they should modify their reactions and actions to teach all the time.

5. Be a role model

A child’s first role model should be their father and mother. The two key people that influences their growth and development in life. A girl with a father as a role model will see how she should be treated from the actions of her father. She watches how her father treats her mother and other women in his life. Fathers teach their sons through demonstration, being honest, trustworthy, respectful, kind, and compassionate and even how to deal with the challenges of life.

6. Be a teacher

The first teacher in children’s life is their mother and father. Each providing a foundation that shows the value and empowerment of education. Fathers should sit down with their children and read to them, fathers should take their children to the library, museums and cultural events. Fathers need to show that being a Nerd, Blerd, Geek and Bleek are cool and to be friends with others that are not just athletes. Not every child will be an athlete or entertainer so dads need to find out what their kids are good at and cultivate their interests and abilities.

7. Eat together as a family

Fathers, the best way to learn about your children is to sit down with them and eat with them. Listen to their conversations and answer their questions about life. In many cultures, mealtime is a time of bonding and sharing. Fathers need to make time to cook for their families, to share their family stories and teach their children the value of family time.

8. Read to your children

Fathers need to understand the connection from home to school. That education starts at home and television, technology, Social Media, video games cannot replace the building of the love for learning. Fathers must make the time to read to their children.  It is the time you take that builds the character your children will need to survive and thrive in society. In too many families of color and culture, parents do not read to their children or have their children read to them. Let children read what they enjoy and what they are passionate about. This allows for the building of a love for literacy, comprehension abilities and connections with life skills.

9. Show affection

A father that shows no affection, compassion, love, struggles in their future relationships. Children need the security of knowing through actions that their fathers love them and value them. Children need to know they are wanted, needed and appreciated. Fathers should kiss their kids, hug their kids, embrace their successes, guide during struggles and challenges. Fathers should be a listening ear, watchful eye, and hands while building and lifting up.

10. Realize that a fathers’ job is never done

Fathers need to understand that their job is 24/7 365. Even when your child is an adult the work continues. Pray for your child and occasionally send care packages of love. Fathers should be using Social Media to communicate. Digital kids have embraced technology so fathers use this to your advantage and keep in contact with your children.

I have hopes that these 10 items will be helpful and empowering to fathers.


About the author of this article:  William Jackson is a graduate of South Carolina State University where he earned a Bachelor of Education. He also graduated from Webster University and got a Master's degree in Educational Technology. His career in education spans over 20 years.  He taught in elementary schools as a STEAM. In addition, he was a Physical Education teacher and at an HBCU-Edward Waters College in the Education Department he taught educational technology. William has been blogging over 10 years and made conferences in Philadelphia, (Pennsylvania), Miami (Florida), etc. The above article was originally published on www.thyblackman.com and the author wrote for years on this website. His blog is located at http://MyQuestToTeach.Wordpress.com. He tweets at @wmjackson and his Instagram account is http://Instagram.com/WilliamDJackson. He can be reached at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  or  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .  In addition, you can click here www.blogtalkradio.com/blackhistory/2013/12/20/malcolm-xs-daughter-author-activist-ilyasah-shabazz-little-malcolm  to listen to his great interview with Malcolm X's daughter.